One of my favorite quotes goes thus: “As the morning shows the day, the child shows the man”. Usually, a stand-out brilliant child while in Nursery/Primary/Secondary school, is touted to have huge potentials, and more expectation is placed on him by family members/society as he grows up. If he also does well at the University/Polytecnic, and bags a good grade, then he has crossed a huge threshold of doubt, with more expectations from the society/immediate environment as he grows up. Usually, such kids are expected to hit it big, and achieve celebrated success usually in their mid-twenties or at worst the early thirties.
As the clock ticks and they approach their mid-thirties without this “Holywood-like” success, societal expectations start to drop, and a sense of disbelief sets in among the people. Doubts creep in, and disrespect is unleashed from those who have hitherto celebrated him/her as an hero. Crossing forty, the fellow is slowly written off by the society, and if lucky, some of his immediate family still believes he will fulfill the potential. At fifty and still no show, only two people are likely to believe in him (his wife and/or his mother). At sixty, he’s retired and he is left alone to either bask in the “what ifs” and regrets as he battles loneliness (wife keeps travelling for omugwo). The above describes the lifecycle of many hitherto brilliant kids, and this syndrome is what I call “THE BURDEN OF POTENTIAL”
The burden of Potential is huge, and if not well managed can lead to depression and bouts of anger and restlessness. While the society is not wrong to have expectations from a high-flyer kid, the honours is on the parents/guardian or the school to manage the expectations while he is still a kid, with series of counseling to develop both his academic ingenuity and emotional resilience. As a grown-up, he needs to learn problem-solving skills, be able to manage failures and have tenacity of focus; if he is to fulfill his potential. Career guidance is very important in his teenage years, while mentorship in his twenties is essential to achieve his potential. In his thirties, he needs a strong happy family to keep him in focus, and some hand-holding with close mentors, can help accelerate the fulfillment of this potential. Between forty and fifty, having a huge self-esteem, with daily doses of self motivation is important to stay on course.
Friends, no matter your age, don’t give in to the “burden of potential”. Learn to live life as if its the last day of your life, whilst staying positive for the next decade ahead. Keep your dreams alive, and frequently travel the road of imagination to savour the anticipated future accomplishment. Be happy for some that realized their potentials early, we late boomers need to keep the hope alive. And in the words of Colonel Sanders (the chief late boomer), ”
I’ve only had two rules: Do all you can and do it the best you can. It’s the only way you ever get that feeling of accomplishing something”. He kept at it and realized his potential at the age of 65 years.